Added: Priscila Kirkpatrick - Date: 24.12.2021 00:03 - Views: 34956 - Clicks: 1410
This post is going to be another story from my crazy wild hookup days. What, again? Yes, again! Side note: I love cleaning, and I would say cleaning is one of my hobbies. There was no need to, because I was pretty good at keeping up with the work. So my work laid me off, mostly due to the U.
I was suddenly jobless, and somehow I needed to figure out how to pay my portion of the rent at my apartment complex. While going to school, I was also job-searching, mostly to help make ends meet on my part. I was living with family, and they had money coming in for their scholarships too, so they had no problem. Myself, I was screwed! Job search after job search, no one would hire me. Again, this was back in a time when the recession had hit hard.
The reality would set in that I was jobless and money-less, and there was nothing I could do about it. That person replied back saying it was another way of describing someone who had money — basically, asking for money in exchange of sex. By this time, I was desperate for money, and I did really love having sex! Once I made that ad, I got so many replies, but I had to choose only one. Over time, my desperation for money turned into greed, and I wanted more!
The guys I hit up would always want to get into a relationship with me, and that was a huge no-no! Eventually, I stopped. But the whole hookup scene was still there. Fast-forward to now: I am not jobless anymore, I have a good paying job, and I love it! To be honest, the temptation still comes around every now and then.
But I know how to say no to my desires when it comes to money and sex. It was a learning experience to say the least! Have troubled finances sent you into any spirals, lustful or otherwise? Thank you Matt for sharing a part of you with us. Does the hookup culture resonate with me? To make a long story short, I corresponded with one of the guys in these groups and we agreed to meet in person a local restaurant. I wanted to see if I could foster a such relationship with my guy. After our meal, we parted ways and I cut ties with him and that lustful corner of the Internet. Hopefully you did learn something in all of that, though it did sounded like you did.
At least it turned out good after all! I was being somewhat selfish, needy, foolishly optimistic that a brief acquaintance could fill the void of a loving platonic relationship. It would have ended like some one night stand with long term regret. Afterwards, where would I be? You know where brother. Back in the void. Thanks for listening. Peace and love brother. Oh my Matthew, your honesty and story amazes me. While I was rather wild, there were those that were even wilder including hustlers I knew.
After I left the lifestyle I have been tempted to pay for guy sex. One time at age 26 I drive to a part of downtown where I knew they hung out. This was way before the Internet. There is no such thing as safe sex for what I like to do. But dang I always seem to be all alone — and God ignoring me at best if not sitting back and enjoying me squirm. Kind of fits me. But obviously NOT a good place to be spiritually. Hey Matthew, thanks for sharing more of your story. But I greatly resonate with your having to gradually learn how to depend on God for finances and a host of other things.
I can be very stubborn and foolish so it is often painfully gradual. I also resonate with your empathy for those who are looking for generous guys right now. Your empathy always shines through. Continue in that and bring what you have learned to those who are still floundering. Your humility, humor, and candor really encourage them to hear your story. Thank you for that! Yeah, learning to trust God with my finances was difficult, but it needed to be dealt with. A lesson to be learned. This is not exactly relating to the question, but more so a question of my own.
Why do you think so many do that?
I love the diversity here. Thank you so much for your trust in us by your confession. I hope that it is a further healing experience for you to disclose. I am studying counseling and last week I did a powerpoint presentation I researched about prostitution. It was rather shocking, and I read some statements from people who were interviewed for some research. Although it was a country where prostitution is legal, they were all working legal and said they loved it. Here in America, those interviewed said they were working just to pay for college and would quit when they get through.
I have heard the same from porn actors. Our textbook made it clear that many people are part of sex trafficking, which is not voluntary. I suppose those people are not as available for comment. Even if one does not get a disease which some non-life threatening diseases are inevitable there is a broken, cynical and weary person at the end of it all.
No one really sees that far down the road. Just remember though, as I would say to anyone: would you trust us to confess and repent if you slipped? I hope you would, and I hope you would give us the opportunity to receive you with grace and learn from it with you. Again, I mean this for any of the bloggers, including those who read. I can relate from the paying customer side.
I hooked up with lots of masseurs and escorts. It was how I dealt with stress or chaos in my life. Being the paying customer gave me a greater sense of control and less fear of rejection or there being any expectations put on me. I felt compassion for many of the men I hooked up with. It was plainly obvious that some of them were in desperate financial straits. I took guys out for dinner or grocery shopping hoping to help them. In retrospect, I was probably doing more harm than good, but as crazy and screwed up as it sounds, I think I was also able to witness to some of these men in a way no one else could get to them.
Do I want to go back down that road again? Hey y'all! I'm a very blunt person but know when people can't handle the whole truth. My job here is to tell you guys my story which is set up like a typical coffee shop, one-on-one talk. I'm here to challenge the way you think and encourage you spiritually.
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And yes, I just made a pun. It was very hard to keep up with my finances and help out my family. Was I scared? Oh yeah I was! But I did it anyway.
I empathize with those who are in this situation right now. Was it hard? Yes, it was; but in the end, God made ends meet. Post. Next Post. You May Also Like. Ben Rutkowski 29 September 29 September Sick of Gay Men No Longer? Eugene Heffron 24 September 24 September Close dialogue.
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